And after you read that long message, could you do me a favor and, if we are on peaceful terms, remove all evidence of me from your journal post you created on the 23rd.

--
_{Pretend its just a romance novel
And we're hero's of the cause
In the end we'll be exulted
With a standing applause...
~me}

Honestly, the sketches are all I want, that's what I was meaning when I said "everything".

And if you want to know the truth, in the beginning, I was mad at you because it was easier than being mad at Jay. I mean, the Jay that I knew just wanted to cuddle sometimes, Titanic was his favorite movie, he called saying "I love you" then would hang up immediately, despite his tough appearance I found it sweet that he had pet names for me like 'ookie bear' 'honey bunny' 'teddy bear' and 'enguin'(if he calls you that, sorry, he learned that from me, I told him that penguins mate for life then asked him if he would be my penguin), so, who I thought Jay was certainly would not have cheated unless provoked, determinedly. By the time I got home for good, I already found out that Jay is many people, many people using the same tricks in many different ways. But then there was you. When I got sent away you were one of the first ten things to go through my head: the year I got shipped off was the year you were coming to school, and I was supposed to show you around. Now imagine the feeling that I got when I found out that Jay had cheated on me more than once, and one of those times was you, and was still you. Yes I was heated and acted rashly as consequence, this was 2 low blows at once and I was a viper. Mad as hell because he wasn't who I thought he was and neither were you.

I have come to see (and can't believe it didn't hit me sooner than it did) that Jay is playing the same game, the only difference is the age difference. I celebrated his 18th birthday, did you celebrate his 19th or will you be celebrating his 20th? Did you think his tattoo was cool or like me, did you get upset because he got one and you couldn’t go with him? Truthfully, you may think I’m fighting to get him back, but I don’t wage wars over trash, and definitely not when there are innocent people trapped beneath it. I encourage you to look at Jay objectively, without the love or affection you feel, see him like you never met him and ask yourself if he is the same. You may let Jay read this or you may not, he is of no concern to me. Courtney, I don’t hate you. I don’t even hate Jay, though I have every reason to, I hate what he did and that he is still doing it, but my body is not strong enough to harbor hate, or perhaps I am too strong to let it pull me down.

I hope you can come to church tonight. And I’m offering my olive branch, if I fight anymore with Jay involved, it is so you will see that you deserve something so much better than that broken record that just keeps saying the same damn thing, no matter how many times you spin it.

--
_{Pretend its just a romance novel
And we're hero's of the cause
In the end we'll be exulted
With a standing applause...
~me}